I am stuck in self-perpetuated limbo. I know this because I want to make a drastic change in my life. I can feel it. That sense of not openly receiving the joy that others offer so selflessly. The crime of indecision hiding behind brutal honesty. The longing for those things I used to have but do not any longer. Sometimes it comes in a song. Today it was "Come On Get Higher" by Matt Nathanson.
"I miss the sound of your voice.
I miss the rush of your skin.
I miss the still of your silence as you breathe out and I breathe in.
If I could walk on water, if I could tell you what's next.
Make you believe, make you forget.
So, come get high and loosen your lips.
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips.
Just pull me down hard and drown me in love."
You know who you are. You have been in my mind today; making me want to reach back to a very dark place and attempt to believe that I could shed some light onto something doomed from the start.
....and to think that I believe this to be a positive transformation for me.
